Trouble With Co-Parenting? There’s an App for That
Forget to turn down the thermostat before you left for vacation? Need to locate a nearby restaurant with a gluten-free kids menu? Trying to organize a dozen of your daughter’s friends (and their parents) for a series of geocaching events? With the right program, app, or website and a few clicks on your smart phone or tablet, all of these problems can be easily solved.
It’s remarkable the volume and variety of complex problems that have digital solutions today.
Parents with persistent problems managing a joint custody and co-parenting arrangement should be relieved to know that, yes, there’s even a program, app, or website for that.
At their core, such programs allow parents, kids (if at an appropriate age), and even third-parties (think grandparents or child care providers) to perform the sometimes-difficult tasks inherent in a co-parenting situation. From making or modifying a custody and visitation schedule, to accounting for shared expenses, to journaling details of events, the programs serve as tool-kits to simplify the tasks confronting parents who often just cannot get along very well.
Perhaps the most valuable feature of these programs is that they facilitate effective co-parenting in what is sometimes a high-conflict situation. When parents have difficulty communicating well enough to make joint custody work, a co-parenting program can allow them to face such tasks in a more emotionally-neutral way. Some of the programs even allow correspondence to be preserved and available as evidence in court hearings; though, with a sincere commitment to the use of these tools, parents are usually able to avoid repeated trips back to court.
[A quick note: a mention of a website or product does not constitute an endorsement or recommendation of it.]For starters, even simple calendaring programs and websites such as cozi.com or Google Calendar can be helpful for parents making a co-parenting schedule. Calendaring programs are widely available and often free, and by granting the key players permissions to modify the calendars, events like ballgames, recitals, doctor visits, or testing dates can be included. A simple calendar program or app often works best when conflict between parents is relatively low.
Beyond these types of calendar programs lies a world of much more elaborate tool-kits. Most of them are web-based platforms and feature a calendaring tool, an expense tracker/ledger, a journal or message board, and an information center. With the calendaring tools, parents can plan time-sharing months in advance, and produce an easy-to-read reference calendar showing where the kids will spend each day/night.
When common expenses like medical co-pays or activity sign-up fees are to be shared between parents, an expense tracker/ledger will allow parents to share details about the expense, provide receipts, and calculate the shared portion each owes. Journals and message boards allow the parents – – and sometimes others, such as a counselor or babysitter – – to communicate important material in a clear, conflict-free manner.
Finally, an information center is a quick-reference location for all of the important data parents need to know about their kids, whether it be the name of their teachers or coaches, their pediatricians’ contact specifics, or even their current shoe sizes.
A few of the programs or apps are even available for mobile devices including smartphones and tablets.
Just as features vary from program to program, so does cost. Free apps and programs do exist, including 2houses.com and cofamilies.com. Some of the programs, such as sharekids.com, offer parents a free trial for a specified period, allowing the parents to test the features before committing to the purchase. Other providers require payment of a one-time fee, such as those charged at custodytoolbox.com and custodyxchange.com. Finally, sites such as ourfamilywizard.com require payment of an annual subscription fee, with discounts offered for longer-term commitments.
Without question, even the most expensive of the pay sites is far more affordable than the cost of legal fees associated with taking the other parent back to court in hopes the judge will impose some order to the situation.
As one might expect, even these well-designed solutions are not perfect ones. The biggest requirement for making them work effectively is having two parents who are committed to this form of planning and communication. If one parent is not willing to utilize the online tool-kits to make co-parenting easier and less stressful, then even a fully dedicated parent on the other side cannot overcome such indifference. However, the same can probably be said for joint custody and co-parenting in and of itself.
But when both parents are committed to turning to the digital world to make their joint custody and co-parenting arrangement easier, the ease and cost-effectiveness of the programs, apps, and websites like those mentioned here can offer a modern solution to an ages-old challenge.
Disclaimer
This article presents only general information. Nothing in this article should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Reading this information does not create an attorney-client relationship. This article originally appeared in the December 2013 edition of SOKY Happenings.
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