Planning for a Post-Quarantine Divorce

“Healthy at Home” initiatives during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic are something most of us are very familiar with by now.

As a lawyer practicing in family court areas like divorce and child custody, I noticed in the first couple of weeks of the so-called quarantine that social media had its own take on a couple of areas of interest to me.

For example, plenty of memes out there about how divorce lawyers may already be thinking they’ll be more popular than usual after some spouses are forced to stay at home together for so long.  Fans of the great T-V show “The Office” will like this one.

If you’re wondering what might be the final straw that pushes some spouses over the edge. . . .

I thought this one about the sound of a husband blinking was pretty funny.

Humor helps us get through difficult times, to be sure, but there probably is some kernel of truth behind the observations.

And many lawyers who practice in the family courts do expect a big uptick in divorce filings once offices and courts return to normal schedules.

Whether it’s loud eye-blinking or something more real, something more serious, there are certainly spouses out there who have realized during these past few weeks that the things they were already tired of putting up with, have become things they are NOT willing to live with any further.

If things for you or your marriage have reached a tipping point during this pandemic, and you’re looking for some concrete steps to take while waiting for things to reopen, here are a few things you can be doing right now.

First, you can use this time to get financial documents together.  You may be cleaning up the house or reorganizing things anyway.  

Take the time to gather things like tax returns, bank statements, investment statements, credit card statements, outstanding medical bills, that sort of thing. 

Make separate scans of these if you can, or copies, and then you’ll have them ready when the time comes to present a picture of your finances for your attorney.

Two, take time to conduct some research about your options in divorce.   Knowing what your options are for solving the legal issues in a divorce will help you chose the right path when the time comes to move forward.

We all know about the traditional model of both sides fighting divorce battles through the court process.

We’ve all seen it in T-V shows and movies, and some of us even know friends or family members who have been dragged through those kinds of cases.

But that’s an expensive and downright unappealing option for most people.

The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way.  There are options to that model, and those options have the added benefit of letting you get started now, without waiting for courts to reopen.

Spend some time reading, for example, about what’s called collaborative divorce. It’s a respectful, solution-focused model for resolving divorce and custody issues on a more efficient timeline, and usually at a reduced expense.

Look at options for exploring mediation with a trained family law mediator.  While it normally works better if both sides have attorneys, mediation is a process that could even be undertaken before either side is represented. 

It’s an attractive option because it keeps the spouses or parents in charge of making the important decisions about the things that matter most to them.

The third thing you can do now is find a lawyer who is a good fit for your situation and your goals.

I recognize that it may be tricky to figure out how to talk with a divorce lawyer while you’re stuck at home with your spouse.  Maybe it’s not possible.

But some of you may be spending some time in the car, whether it’s for trips to or from work or for essential errands. You may be able to fit in at least a partial consultation during your time in the car.

Or you might be able to plan a walk through the neighborhood or the nearby woods – – maybe a time you’d rather be enjoying the peace and quite, but if your need is critical, it may also make sense to talk with a lawyer during that time away from the house.

Either way, at least a handful of us are still working with certain adjustments in place, and are still holding phone and video consultations with clients or potential clients who need us.

That includes my office, Reed Law Group, and if you want to schedule an initial consultation to discuss your situation and your options, you can call, click, or text us at the information on your screen.

One last suggestion:  make sure you are taking good care of your own physical and mental health during these difficult days.  I don’t know exactly what that may look like for you . . . 

We are all different . . . 

But it should include taking whatever time you can to be sure your physical and emotional health needs are being addressed, 

so that you are in a strong and secure place to make the important decisions you may have to make when our daily lives start returning to normal again.

If we can be part of that decision-making process, I hope you’ll let us know.

On April 29, 2020   /   Divorce, Family Law   /   2 Comments